Friday, February 18, 2005, 2:40 AM
another day.. another day closer to compy. i really cannot feel any team spirit .. i just found out that some people tend to act blur.. to avoid all the scoldings and everything.. when they did something really wrong.. they always get covered.. i am the one getting all the blames.. i was being pressured.. strees out from gaming.. why ? maybe, i was really meant for this game. the experiences i got.. is so much lesser than others.. but, i am willing to learn. sometimes. i just tend to make mistakes.. just sometimes.. when u are alone, u panic. i know that's wrong.. i 've been trying my best.. can they feel it ? no. some partner.. i found that i can't communicate with him.. his mouth filled with gold.. heavy mouth. irritating mic.. maybe you all think that i am blaming people.. but it seems like the opposite. with your teammates.. they rarely give encouragements.. they demoralise more. it's just something wrong with his mouth.. can you figure it out? the other guy.. just spoil people's mood.. when gaming.."wah, sian 1/2, no mood liao" think abt it, are you in the position to say such stuff? by saying these words.. moral dropped to ZERO. just don't have the farking brain, to mind the words. worst still, i also found that some leaders just can't manage things well.. haven even give it a try, "well, i think we shld'nt go" no wonder some people ticked him off. doing things.. in a very wrong way. me myself.. being a leader once.. there must be teamwork, encouragements all the way. otherwise, you troop falls. hai. stress. and another thing, i really don't think that my hearing got some problems. it's my environment. a fan above me, a farking noisy p4 cpu. that's enough noise ? i guess i have to find another place for my com. noisy com. and pls stop farking saying people deaf. try using such words on others, do you know how they feel? people tell you farking brainless. i doubt you feel great. its damn demoralising. all these are stessing my out. i wonder what will i do if i can't take it anymore. tactics.. get it right in just 3 days. that's so way damn cool. before that, are you guys thinking about serious stuff? i have compromised. not working on weekdays, concentrate on a game. one game, one mind . hai, no support, no faith . i feel lonely.. in this world. stress, pressure, alone. My mother like not my mother. i'm living in my house.. like in campus. . out in the morning, back in the evening. fight, nothing else. fight for what, all abt my gaming. so, please know that i am trying to do all the things in a fast and correct way.
